predencia

‘Only salvation can be said to cure.’

‘Cure’ is a word that cannot be applied to any remedy that the world would accept as beneficial. What the world perceives as therapeutic is but what will make the body ‘better’. When it tries to heal the mind, it sees no separation from the body, where it thinks the mind exists. Its form of healing thus must substitute illusion for illusion. One belief in sickness takes another form, and so the patient now perceives himself as well.

He is not healed. He merely had a dream that he was sick, and in the dream he found a magic formula to make him well.

The happy dreams the Holy Spirit brings are different from the dreaming of the world, where one can merely dream he is awake. Atonement heals with certainty, and cures all sickness. Atonement does not heal the sick, for that is not a cure. It takes away the guilt that makes the sickness possible. And that is cure indeed. For sickness now is gone, with nothing left to which it can return.

So do we lay aside our amulets, our charms and medicines, or chants and bits of magic in whatever form they take. We will be still and listen for the Voice of healing, which will cure all ills as one, restoring saneness to the Son of God.

With nothing in our hands to which we cling, with lifted hearts and listening minds we pray:

Only salvation can be said to cure. Speak to us Father, that we may be healed.

It’s Sunday, and very apt that there should be such an emphasis on prayer and on salvation and atonement. Today I spent a long time talking to a friend about my medical journey and the path that lead me to Louise Hay and later to ACIM and the recognition that sickness is of the mind and how in 2007 I finally made the decision to give up medicines. It feels so much like second nature now, but I remember how challenging it was at first.

After so little sleep last night, and the early morning to try and develop the poem, I’m knackered now. Aiming for an early night. Poet Laureate loves the poem though.

‘I will accept Atonement for myself.’

Here is the end of choice. For here we come to a decision to accept ourselves as God created us. And what is choice except uncertainty of what we are? Uncertainty about what you must be is self-deception on a scale so vast, its magnitude can hardly be conceived. To be alive and not know yourself is to believe that you are really dead.

Atonement remedies the strange idea that it is possible to doubt yourself, and be unsure of what you really are. This is the depths of madness. Yet it is the universal question of the world. What does this mean except the world is mad? Why share its madness in the sad belief that what is universal here is true? Nothing the world believes is true.

Five minutes in the morning and at night we will devote to dedicate our minds to our assignment for today. We start with this review of what our mission is:

I will accept Atonement for myself,
For I remain as God created me.

I managed the morning and the night practice but not much in between. The drive back toBirminghamfor Writers Without Borders writing workshop in The Coffee Lounge onNavigation Stwas a leisurely and pleasant one, which I shared with Fleetwood Mac.

As I walked into the basement to our table someone said ‘this is the novelist in our group’ to a couple of young women standing by the large conference table with laptops in hand. They were part of the large group of novelist which meet in the café once a month to network and to write. I stayed behind and chatted to a few of them after our very successful workshop where I was able to create a couple of interesting pieces.

I was particularly fascinated by the young woman who wrote two novels of approximately 100,000 words each in a month. She told me of a piece of software called Write or Die which helped to speed her writing up. Apparently if you pause too long it begins to eat the words you’ve already written, thus forcing you to keep going. She says she can write 5000 an hour – and I was proud to be able to do that in a day!!!

She also told me that they take part in the National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) in November when they take over the whole of the basement of the café every week for a month and write. A shame it’s in November as I may be doing some more book promotion then. However, if I’m not I will certainly be down there joining them.

Then after a quick trip home to change I was back out to The Drum to see Ruckumbine by the United Caribbean Dance Force, brought over as part of the Jamaica 50^th Anniversary of Independence celebrations. A totally thrilling evening with drums, story and amazing dancing. They deserved the standing ovation, and I was one of the first on my feet.

‘Heaven is the decision I must make.’

In this world Heaven is a choice, because we believe there are alternatives to choose between. We think that all things have an opposite, and what we want we choose. If Heaven exists there must be hell as, for contradiction is the way we make what we perceive, and what we think is real.

Choosing depends on learning. And truth cannot be learned, but only recognised. But knowledge is beyond the goals we seek to teach within the framework of this course. Heaven is chosen consciously. The choice cannot be made until alternatives are accurately seen and understood. The conscious choice of Heaven is as sure as the ending of the fear of hell.

We make the choice for Heaven as we wake, and spend five minutes making sure that we have made the one decision that is sane. Before we close our eyes in sleep tonight, we reaffirm the choice that we have made each hour in between.

Heaven is the decision I must make. I make it now; and will not change my mind, because it is the only thing I want.

On a day where I seem to spend a great deal of my time sitting in traffic I had plenty of opportunity to remind myself that Heaven is a decision I must make. It was a bright and warm day in Leamington Spa. The drive from the motorway to the town centre made all the more pleasant with the fleshing out of the trees and shrubs, and the colouring of the canvas with blocks of yellow gorse and swathes of white May flowers. It was a welcome relief from the nose to tail lines of black and silver cars on the M42.

It was no better on the return leg so I got off at the A45 and tried to come in the back way, only to meet a diversion which added an extra 30 minutes to my journey.

I only had time for a brief rest before setting off to see the Kegworth Players in their spring production of two one acts plays, Seascape and Just the Two of Us. One in which all the action takes place in Port Erin on the Isle of Man in the summer of 1942, and the other in a living room in the present day.

Seascape dealt with separation, loss and mistrust in World War Two and Just the Two of Us with the complexities of artificial donor insemination and the new law on children of AI’s right to know who their biological father is.

It was the first time I watched the Players without the aid of alcohol and was pleasantly surprised. I like the whole ‘café style’ seating which allowed us to share our table with the parents of one of the lead players in Seascape.

I had no problem making Heaven my decision today, and despite going to Fit Boot Camp at 7.30 a.m.it wasn’t till11.30 p.m. that my body crashed. And Heaven was a welcomed bed.

‘When I am healed I am not healed alone.’

Today’s idea remains the central thought on which salvation rests. For healing is the opposite of all the world’s ideas which dwell on sickness and on separate states. Sickness is a retreat from others, and a shuttin off of joining. It becomes a door that closes on a separate self, and keeps it isolated and alone.

Sickness is isolation. Just as forgiveness shines away all sin, so healing must replace the fantasies of sickness which you hold before the simple truth. Healing is freedom. For it demonstrates that dreams will not prevail against the truth. Healing is shared. Healing is strength. And as you let yourself be healed, you see all those around you, or who cross your mind, or whom you touch or those who seem to have no contact with you, healed along with you.

Those who are healed become the instruments of healing. We will remember as the hour strikes, our function is to let our minds be healed, that we may carry healing to the world, exchaning curse for blessing, pain for joy, and separation for the peace of God.

Give ten minutes to these thoughts at the start and end of the day:

When I am healed I am not healed alone. And I would share my healing with the world, that sickness may be banished from the mind of God’s one Son, who is my only Self.

It took me quite a while to read through this lesson because its another convoluted one and my mind kept wandering to things I had to do and people I needed to call. Again this healing lesson is one that totally resonates with me. I have seen others around me heal as I’ve forgiven them. I know that I’m an instrument of healing – not just physically with Reiki but also in my daily contact with others. I’m not saying this as a brag or a boast, because I also receive healing as I am forgiven and from others around me.

One thing I’ve learned is that healing is a two way process. Most people in the healing professions know this. I mean those with a genuine desire to help others, not simply there for the pay cheque and resenting the sick for getting in their way. Whenever I’ve done a Reiki treatment I feel energised either directly after, or not long afterwards. My reflexologist said she feels the same.

My greatest joy, however, is when I’ve helped someone change their thoughs about sickness, because they heal from the inside, and stop creating further sickness.

I’m going to ACIM support group tonight.

Pics are of one of the exercises on my NLP Master Practitioner Course. After going it alone, I’m guided down blindfolded. An exercise in trust if ever there was one.

‘Sickness is a defence against the truth.’

No one can heal unless he understands what purpose sickness seems to serve. Sickness is not an accident. Like all defences, it is an insane device for self-deception. And like all the rest, its purpose is to hide reality, attack it, change it, render it inept, distort it, twist it, or reduce it to a little pile of unassembled parts. The aim of all defences it to keep the truth from being whole. The parts are seen as if each one were whole within itself.

Sickness is a decision. It is not a thing that happens to you, quite unsought, which makes you weak and brings you suffering. It is a choice you make, a plan you lay, when for an instant truth arises in your own deluded mind, and all your world appears to totter and prepare to fall. Now are you sick, that truth may go away and threaten your establishment no more.

Truth has a power far beyond defence, for no illusions can remain where truth has been allowed to enter. And it comes to any mind that would lay down its arms, and cease to play with folly. It is found at any time; today, if you will choose to practice giving welcome to truth.

This is our aim today. And we will give a quarter of an hour twice to ask the truth to come to us and set us free. And truth will come, for it has never been apart from us. It merely waits for just this invitation which we give today. We introduce it with a healing prayer, to help us rise about defensiveness, and let truth be as it has always been:

Sickness is a defence against the truth. I will accept the truth of what I am, and let my mind be wholly healed today.

This is another mammoth lesson, almost as long as yesterday’s, and yet so different in the way I’ve received them. This one I’m wholly at peace with, wholly accepting of. I have no difficulty accepting that sickness is a decision because I’ve direct experience of it. I’m learning and changing on a daily basis my defences that lead to sickness. It’s still a process and as soon as I drop my guard a little unreality sneak in. I have to be vigilant every day. I had reflexology today. It’s one way of highlighting issues in the mind that have not yet manifested in the body. It gives us a chance to correct it, to find the truth of the matter rather than choose sickness.

So why am I so accepting of this lesson and not of yesterday’s on planning? I suppose it’s because I’ve not yet tested fully surrendering to my purpose as laid down in the ancient plan. My son laughed at me today. He said without plans there would be no reason for me to be. I have put as much faith in my plans as others have put in their sickness.

On the basis of attempting lack of planning I ended up doing some things differently today…I went with the flow… and learned some new things. But then I didn’t get any writing done on the new novel. The production process had kicked in with the publishers. We’re talking book covers, e-books, and publicity blurb. It will be interesting working on two books at the same time, especially as I should be getting the typeset copy of Betrayed tomorrow.

‘If I defend myself I am attacked.’

Who would defend himself unless he thought he were attacked, that the attack were real, and that his own defence would save himself? And herein lies the folly of defence; it gives illusions full reality, and then attempts to handle them as real. It adds illusions to illusions, thus making correction doubly difficult. And it is this you do when you attempt to plan the future, activate the past, or organise the present as you wish.

A healed mind does not plan. It carries out the plans that it receives through listening to wisdom that is not its own. It waits till it has been taught what should be done, and then proceeds to do it. It does not depend upon itself for anything except its adequacy to fulfil the plans assigned to it. It is secure in certainty that obstacles can not impede its progress to accomplishment of any goal that serves the greater plan established for the good of everyone.

The mind engaged in planning for itself is occupied in setting up control of future happenings. It does not think it will be provided for, unless it makes its own provisions. Time becomes a future emphasis, to be controlled by learning and experience obtained from past events and previous beliefs. It overlooks the present, for it rests on the idea that the past has taught enough to let the mind direct its future course. The mind that plans is thus refusing to allow for change.

Defences are the plans you undertake to make against the truth. Your present trust in Him is the defence that promises a future undisturbed, without a trace of sorrow, and with joy that constantly increases, as this life becomes a holy instant, set in time, but heeding only immortality. Let no defences but your present trust direct the future and this life becomes a meaningful encounter with truth that only your defences would conceal.

Without defences you become as light which Heaven gratefully acknowledges to be its own. And it will lead you on in ways appointed for your happiness according to the ancient plan, begun when time was born.

For fifteen minutes twice today we rest from senseless planning, and from every thought that blocks the truth from entering our minds. Today we will receive instead of plan, that we may give instead of organise. And we are given truly, as we say:

If I defend myself I am attacked. But in defencelessness I will be strong, and I will learn what my defences hide.

I was rocked on so many levels by this lesson. It seemed to strike at the very heart of my weaknesses, which up until now I have deemed my strengths. I AM A STRICT PLANNER and I encourage other to plan. I have been assiduously working a ten year plan which has three and a half years left to run. My mantra is that without a plan you will drift, you won’t even know if you’ve arrived because you won’t know where you were heading. Now this lesson is saying this is a weakness, that I should trust that every day will be as it should be for my divine purpose.

Now, on a level, I trust that. My daily prayer contain the words ‘make me who you would have me be, that I might do as you would have me do,’ and I feel I show up each day for my jobs list from God. I’d be very insecure though without my long term plans – even though I am prepared for change it helps me to be clearer about the direction I’m heading in. My plan is my security blanket –and I’m not sure I’m ready or able to give it up just yet. It is so much a part of me, it’s how I define my journey, it’s where my satnav re-calibrates to when I veer off course. WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT IT!! This is a scary thought. A healed mind does not plan. Does that mean I’m not healed?

The second rocking I got was in the defences. I’ve been grappling with the issue of insurance for some time, and noticing how many more kinds of insurance policies are being sold, pets, emergency home disasters, teeth. So many people have CCTV to protect their goods, their home, their businesses. We are building more and more gated communities to protect ourselves. I see all of this and I’m uncomfortable because I have insurances, some of them are required by law, e.g motor insurance, but others are not. Does part of my healing require me to give up all my defences. I lock my car when I’m not in it, I lock my house, without these precautions my insurances would be invalid.

It was a long lesson, nearly 2500 words and I read it twice so disturbed I was by it. And I still have not come to a firm decision as to what to do. The only thing I’m clear about is that I have much more healing to do.

If you have any suggestions on what the ‘no planning’ and the ‘no defences’ mean, or if you’ve worked through this lesson and made sense of it please share your experiences with me. I will be grateful.

‘Let me perceive forgiveness as it is.’

Let us review the meaning of ‘forgive’ for it is apt to be distorted and to be perceived as something that entails an unfair sacrifice of righteous wrath, a gift unjustified and undeserved, and a complete denial of the truth.. In such a view forgiveness must be seen as mere eccentric folly, and this course appear to rest salvation on a whim.

This twisted view of what forgiveness really means is easily corrected, when you can accept the fact that pardon is not asked for what is true. It must be limited to what is false. It is irrelevant to everything except illusions. Truth is God’s creation and to pardon that is meaningless. All truth belongs to Him, reflects his laws and radiates His love. Does this need pardon? How can you forgive the sinless and eternally benign?

Forgiveness is the only thing that stands for truth in the illusions of the world. There is a simple way to find the door to true forgiveness, and perceive it open wide in welcome. When you feel that you are tempted to accuse someone of sin in any form, do not allow your mind to dwell on what you think he did, for that is self-deception. Ask instead, ‘Would I accuse myself of doing this?’

Today we practice true forgiveness, that the time of joining be no more delayed. Forgiveness should be practiced throughout the day, for there will still be many times when you forget its meaning and attack yourself. When this occurs, allow your mind to see through this illusion as you tell yourself:

Let me perceive forgiveness as it is. Would I accuse myself of doing this? I will not lay this claim upon myself.

In everything you do remember this:

No one is crucified alone, and yet no one can enter Heaven by himself.

I had to read the second paragraph of this lesson three times before I got it. It was the same with much of the rest of the lesson which is the longest so far, about 1700 words, and convoluted as hell.

The general gist as I gleaned is that forgiveness is for oneself.  Because we are all one, you cannot forgive another without forgiving yourself. Whatever blame you  put on someone, whatever misdemeanour ‘sins’ you accuse them of, you are accusing yourself of. Everything we see as a wilful or deliberate act of malice is simply a misunderstanding, something that requires correction, not punishment.

Despite my years of forgiving I can still find thing that I’m blaming people for. I find myself using words like callous, heartless, self-seeking. The painful thing is that I have to look at myself and ask ‘where in my life am I displaying these things?’ By forgiving them in others, I also forgive them in myself. It’s part of the healing for the whole. Its like one side of an orange accusing the other that its rotting on purpose and refusing to do anything to help, not realising that by healing that side it also heals the whole orange.

Forgiveness is about not holding any pockets of grudges or accusations that can fester and create disease in the whole body. My forgiveness heals my body.

On another note: I started writing the new novel properly yesterday. I did a lot of preliminary work, characters, plot, time line etc. and finally got down the first 300 words before going for a well earned Ceroc lesson. They didn’t kick out the Groupon customers at 9.30 as they did before, so I got a lot of freestyle dancing in. A few people said I was doing really well for my eighth lesson.

‘I will not value what is valueless.’

Sometimes in teaching there is benefit, particularly after you have gone through what seems theoretical and far from what the student has already learned, to bring him back to practical concerns. This we will do today. We will not speak of lofty, world encompassing ideas, but dwell instead on benefits to you.

You may not ask too much of life, but far too little. Today we list the real criteria by which to test all things you think you want. First, if you choose a thing that will not last forever, what you choose is valueless. Time cannot take away a value that is real.

Next, if you choose to take a thing away from someone else, you will have nothing left. This is because, when you deny his right to everything, you have denied your own.

And so we come to the criterion for choice that is the hardest to believe, because its obviousness is overlaid with many levels of obscurity. If you feel any guilt about your choice, you have allowed the ego’s goal to come between the real alternatives.

Our two extended practice periods of fifteen minutes each begin with this:

I will not value what is valueless, and only what has value do I seek, for only that do I desire to find.

And then wait to receive what waits for everyone who reaches, unencumbered to the gates of Heaven, which swings open as he comes.

One of the first things I valued today was the call from my friend inCanadato wish me a happy Mother’s Day, as this is the day it’s celebrated on that side of the world. It was a long catch up, nearly two and a half hours. She’s been my friend since I was 17, and I value that. She does not judge me. I value that also.

Next I had a call from my friend in London who wanted to relay the dream she had about me. It was a long one, two and three-quarters of an hour – dream analysis can take a long time. She too does not judge me, and is there as a spiritual travelling companion. I value that.

I valued the long walk in Cannon Hill Park in the sunshine and warmth, taking in the stunningly vibrant hydrangeas and the one legged ducks/geese. And yet another nearly two hour call from a friend in Birmingham, who, when she heard about my search for truth, offered me her knowledge and wisdom on the topics I was grappling with. I value that.

I was up till one o’clock a.m.last night researching Kemetic Spirituality. It made me realise that my ‘Gateway of Thoth’ meditation most certainly has had an effect on the speed and quantity of my writing as he is the deity of scribes. I feel I’ve made another of those giant leaps that takes me several steps nearer to fulfilling my life purpose. I value that.

None of these things are material. I didn’t have to buy them, and I am so much richer for having them. And hey, I didn’t feel guilty about any of the choices I made today.

‘I loose the world from all I thought I was.’

What keeps the world in chains but your beliefs? And what can save the world except yourself? Beliefs are powerful indeed. The thoughts you hold are mighty, and illusions are as strong in their effect as is the truth. A madman thinks the world he sees is real, and does not doubt it.

There is no world apart from what you wish, and herein lies your ultimate release. Change but your mind on what you want to see, and all the world must change accordingly.

Today our purpose is to free the world from all the idle thoughts we ever held about it, and about all living things we see upon it. Begin the fifteen minute period in which we practice twice today with this:

I who remain as God created me would loose the world from all I thought it was. For I am real because the world is not, and I would know my own reality.

Throughout the day, increase the freedom sent through your ideas to all the world, and say whenever you are tempted to deny the power of your simple change of mind:

I loose the world from all I thought it was, and choose my own reality instead.

Following a very fractious night I was pretty zombified today. It took me ages to just read through the lesson – another 1500 word one. I fell asleep in the first practice period and had weird dreams, ones I can’t remember now, but I woke up thinking how easy it would be to believe the dreams as reality.

All intentions to work went out of the window. I spent two hours catching up on my journaling (they are proving very effective as research material for the new book. Amazing how looking back shows me the patterns I’ve repeated – and am still repeating in my life). I finished reading and watching the opera I may be involved in and, having no energy or inclination to do anything else, watched The Commitment again.

If I’m honest there was very little thought given to the lesson as I repeated it today. But I figured it would be like an affirmation, it went in anyway on a subconscious level.