‘If I defend myself I am attacked.’
Who would defend himself unless he thought he were attacked, that the attack were real, and that his own defence would save himself? And herein lies the folly of defence; it gives illusions full reality, and then attempts to handle them as real. It adds illusions to illusions, thus making correction doubly difficult. And it is this you do when you attempt to plan the future, activate the past, or organise the present as you wish.
A healed mind does not plan. It carries out the plans that it receives through listening to wisdom that is not its own. It waits till it has been taught what should be done, and then proceeds to do it. It does not depend upon itself for anything except its adequacy to fulfil the plans assigned to it. It is secure in certainty that obstacles can not impede its progress to accomplishment of any goal that serves the greater plan established for the good of everyone.
The mind engaged in planning for itself is occupied in setting up control of future happenings. It does not think it will be provided for, unless it makes its own provisions. Time becomes a future emphasis, to be controlled by learning and experience obtained from past events and previous beliefs. It overlooks the present, for it rests on the idea that the past has taught enough to let the mind direct its future course. The mind that plans is thus refusing to allow for change.
Defences are the plans you undertake to make against the truth. Your present trust in Him is the defence that promises a future undisturbed, without a trace of sorrow, and with joy that constantly increases, as this life becomes a holy instant, set in time, but heeding only immortality. Let no defences but your present trust direct the future and this life becomes a meaningful encounter with truth that only your defences would conceal.
Without defences you become as light which Heaven gratefully acknowledges to be its own. And it will lead you on in ways appointed for your happiness according to the ancient plan, begun when time was born.
For fifteen minutes twice today we rest from senseless planning, and from every thought that blocks the truth from entering our minds. Today we will receive instead of plan, that we may give instead of organise. And we are given truly, as we say:
If I defend myself I am attacked. But in defencelessness I will be strong, and I will learn what my defences hide.
I was rocked on so many levels by this lesson. It seemed to strike at the very heart of my weaknesses, which up until now I have deemed my strengths. I AM A STRICT PLANNER and I encourage other to plan. I have been assiduously working a ten year plan which has three and a half years left to run. My mantra is that without a plan you will drift, you won’t even know if you’ve arrived because you won’t know where you were heading. Now this lesson is saying this is a weakness, that I should trust that every day will be as it should be for my divine purpose.
Now, on a level, I trust that. My daily prayer contain the words ‘make me who you would have me be, that I might do as you would have me do,’ and I feel I show up each day for my jobs list from God. I’d be very insecure though without my long term plans – even though I am prepared for change it helps me to be clearer about the direction I’m heading in. My plan is my security blanket –and I’m not sure I’m ready or able to give it up just yet. It is so much a part of me, it’s how I define my journey, it’s where my satnav re-calibrates to when I veer off course. WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT IT!! This is a scary thought. A healed mind does not plan. Does that mean I’m not healed?
The second rocking I got was in the defences. I’ve been grappling with the issue of insurance for some time, and noticing how many more kinds of insurance policies are being sold, pets, emergency home disasters, teeth. So many people have CCTV to protect their goods, their home, their businesses. We are building more and more gated communities to protect ourselves. I see all of this and I’m uncomfortable because I have insurances, some of them are required by law, e.g motor insurance, but others are not. Does part of my healing require me to give up all my defences. I lock my car when I’m not in it, I lock my house, without these precautions my insurances would be invalid.
It was a long lesson, nearly 2500 words and I read it twice so disturbed I was by it. And I still have not come to a firm decision as to what to do. The only thing I’m clear about is that I have much more healing to do.
If you have any suggestions on what the ‘no planning’ and the ‘no defences’ mean, or if you’ve worked through this lesson and made sense of it please share your experiences with me. I will be grateful.