Lesson 26 – Watering the flowers

Posted on January 27, 2012 by predencia

‘My attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability.’
 
It is surely obvious that if you can be attacked you are not invulnerable. Because your attack thoughts will be projected, you will fear attack. And if you fear attack, you must believe you are not invulnerable. Attack thoughts therefore make you vulnerable in your own mind..Attack thoughts and invulnerability cannot be accepted together. They contradict each other.
6 practice periods of 2 minutes each today. Repeat the idea for today, review any unresolved issues which are causing concern with closed eyes. First name the situation:
‘I am concerned about……………
 
Then go over every possible outcome that has occurred to you
 
‘I am afraid……will happen’
 
Repeat the following
 
‘That thought is an attack upon myself’
 
Having to focus on the things that are unresolved and causing me concern made the day feel very negative. It brought up fears I wasn’t even aware I had, and outcomes I wasn’t even aware I was thinking about. It made me realize how insidiously fears seep into the subconscious, can bypass the positive stuff you’re working on, and rest, unnoticed in some crevice, eating away at one’s self-confidence and self-esteem.
 
There were times during one of the practice periods when I felt sick from the realization of what I’ve been giving living space to in my thoughts. These horrible self limiting thoughts are like the weeds I talked about earlier, the minute you take your attention off them they grow new roots. Tony Quinn talks about needing to be a good gardener who water the flowers and pull up the weeds. I’ve been focusing on watering the flowers in the hope that they would flourish and leave no space for the weed. I think there may have been some roots left behind though. I have some serious weeding to do, to allow the flowers to bloom to their full potential.
 
A powerful lesson.
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Lesson 25 – What the hell do I know?

Posted on January 26, 2012 by predencia

‘I do not know what anything is for.’
Purpose is meaning. Today’s idea explains why nothing you see means anything. You do not know what its for, therefore it is meaningless. Everything is for your own best interest……It is in the recognising of this that your goals become unified….When you believe this, you will try to withdraw the goals you have assigned to the world, instead of attempting to reinforce them.
It is crucial to your learning to be willing to give up the goals you have established for everything.
This lesson really messed with my head today, almost sent me dizzy with confusion as I looked around me and said, as my eyes rested on any object,
‘I do not know what this bed is for.’
‘I do not know what this jogger is for.’
‘I do not know what this money is for.’
‘I do not know what this person is for.’ and so on and so on within the 6 practice sessions recommended. The thing is, I found myself doing it all day. The more I did it the more confused I got. I’ve set a long list of goals for this year, does it mean my goals are meaningless, if everything is for my own best interest does that mean I have to welcome everything into my life, however unpleasant and uncomfortable it may be?
By the end of the day, and especially after a chat with a friend about it, I began to see that my goals were not at odds with what is best for me, so long as I accept that whatever comes my way is a way of preparing me for carrying out my purpose. Therefore, adverse situations will sometimes occur to help me grow in the direction of my purpose. This way, everything is about unifying my goals. It’s not inconsistent with my morning prayer…’make me who you would have me be, that I might do as you would have me do.’
I found a little light relief at the Apples and Snakes poetry night ‘Hit the Ode,’ at which Sue Brown was performing. Also headlining was Spain’s Dani Orviz and Luke Wright. Three very different and very thought stimulating poets. There were also a number of open mic slots. With a five pound door charge, I might be persuaded to perform, as performers get free entry.
 
Pics are of Sue and Luke.
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Lesson 24 – Whose interest?

Posted on January 25, 2012 by predencia

‘ I do not perceive my own best interests’

In no situation that arises do you realize the outcome that would make you happy. Therefore, you have no guide to appropriate action, and no way of judging the result. In applying the idea for today, name each situation that occurs to you, and then enumerate as many goals as possible that you would like to be met in it’s resolution.
In this situation involving.., I would like… to happen, and …to happen.

Then say, ‘I do not perceive my own best interest in this situation.’

If these exercise are done properly, you will quickly recognise that you are making a large number of demands of the situation that have nothing to do with it.

I found today’s lesson the most challenging to date. I thought of my situations, looked at the outcomes I was expecting and only on one occasion did I feel that I was a little over expectant on the hoped for goals. I seemed to be getting through the day fine, till I did the practice sessions, which, frankly, left me feeling worse than before I started.

Instead of focusing on all the great things happening in my life (like writing nearly 4000 of my novel) I found myself focusing on all the negative unresolved issues. Like tonight being the last night of my regular belly dance class, (see pic above) and the hassle of having to find another class miles away, like issues with tenants, with my children. These are things that I would normally take in my stride, now, being asked to focus on them, and telling myself that I don’t know what’s good for me really messed with my head today. Hope tomorrow is better!!!

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Lesson 23 – Escape from attack

Posted on January 24, 2012 by predencia

‘I can escape from the world I see by giving up attack thoughts.’

The idea for today contains the only way out of fear that will ever succeed. Nothing else will ever work; everything else is meaningless. But this way cannot fail. Every thought you have makes up a segment of the world you see.
As you look about you, repeat the idea slowly to yourself first, and then close your eyes and devote about a minute to searching our mind for as many attack thoughts as occur to you, As each on crosses you mind say.
‘I can escape from the world I see by giving up attack thoughts about…….’

I had underlined the words ‘Every thought you have makes up a segment of the world you see.’ in the text of this lesson first time round. Then, I guess I was a little incredulous that I was totally responsible for my world, the world I see. It’s a concept I’m more signed up to now. However, I was stunned to find that there are still aspects of my life that I am not happy with…and having to accept that is all up to me. During the practice sessions today I found thoughts of rejection, of inadequacy and of lack. When, I want to know, did all these things sneak back into my life to become part of the world I see. When I did the course the first time it felt like the hard drive of my computer got wiped of all the currupting programmes and was replaced with a load of positive ones. Over the years some of those currupting ones must have sneaked back in. Seems I have some more work to do before I can truly fly.

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Lesson 22 – Forms of vengence

Posted on January 23, 2012 by predencia

‘What I see is a form of vengeance.’

Today’s idea accurately describes the way anyone who holds attack thoughts in his mind must see the world. Having projected his anger onto the world, he sees vengeance about to strike at him. His own attack is thus perceived as self defence. this becomes an increasingly vicious circle until he is willing to change how he sees.

Look at the world about you at least five times today, for at least a minute each time. Say to yourself.
I see only the perishable; I see nothing that will last; What I see is not real; What I see is a form of vengeance. Is this the world I want to see?

I practiced this lesson in several different places today. On the High Street I was confronted with the perishable in the amount of shops that have closed and been boarded up. Obviously they did not last. Other things like the green grocer and the butcher, whose goods are by nature perishable, made sense. As I queued in the bank I wondered how much longer that system will last, will money be replace by gold again, will we have come full circle? Or will it be replaced by something else. Already we are returning in small ways to bartering, trading skills for goods, or skills for skills; plumbers fixing boilers for mechanics who fix their cars.

When I went to the art gallery this afternoon on my way to a Writers Without Borders meeting, I was instantly calmed by the soft energy in the ceramic gallery. The beautiful green wrought iron on the wide staircases and balcony always brings me a great deal of pleasure, and I’d like to think it would always be there. I couldn’t think how it was a form of vengeance. In fact I didn’t quite understand that part of the lesson. How were these things a form of vengeance? I’m accepting that at this stage I don’t understand everything. Will I ever?

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Lesson 21

Posted on January 22, 2012 by predencia

‘I am determined to see things differently’

In the practice periods, begin by repeating the idea to yourself. Then close your eyes and search your mind carefully for situations past, present, or anticipated that arouse anger in you. The anger may take the form of any reaction ranging from mild irritation to rage.The degree of the emotion you experience does not matter. You will become increasingly aware that a slight twinge of annoyance is nothing but a veil drawn over intense fury.

Hold each angry thought in mind while telling yourself,
I am determined to see……(person or specific situation) differently

I began the day with meditation and prayer, and my usual plea to God to ‘make me who you would have me be that I might do as you would have me do.’ My first task of the day was to write for an hour. My aim today was to get to 10,000 words, by using every available opportunity to write. Happy that at the end of the day my work count is 11,116.

I bought a calendar today, another step in my process of becoming more organised, more systematise, more routinised. The calendar has a different stunning tropical beach to each month. I am sending a clear message to the universe. The year planner will come tomorrow.

My other main task consisted of working with a client who seemed, at one point, willing to choose death over a step-by-step process, but has now returned from that point.

My lesson was not very challenging today, as I could not find many annoying or angry thoughts. It’s been a great day!

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Lesson 20 – Determined to see

Posted on January 22, 2012 by predencia

‘I am determined to see.’
The exercises for today consists in reminding yourself throughout the day that you want to see. Today’s idea also tacitly implies the recognition that you do not see now. Therefore, as you repeat the idea, you are stating that you are determined to change your present state for a better one, and one you really want.

I was sent sufficient challenges today to really practice this lesson, from the lateness of the Zumba teacher this morning to the landlord who I believe bullies her tenants to hide the fact she may be acting illegally. I say may because I will have to seek legal advise on Monday the matter to be absolutely certain.

Whenever I encountered bullying, or lying, or aggressive behaviour today, I found it enormously helpful to repeat the lesson ‘I am determined to see,‘ and what I saw was naked fear, to which I tried to send love. Wasn’t always as loving a I could have been. On a scale of 1-10, perhaps 7. But then, I am work in progress.

This picture, taken in Aberdeen about ten years ago ,reminds me of the illusionary nature of what we see. How easy would it be, if we didn’t know different, to believe the lights were in the water, and not simply a reflection.

Wrote another couple thousands of words on the novel today, nearing completion of chapter 4.

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Lesson 19 – Still connected

Posted on January 20, 2012 by predencia

‘I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts’

Today we again emphasize the fact that minds are joined. This is rarely a wholly welcome idea at first, since it seems to carry with it an enormous sense of responsibility, and may even be regarded as an ‘invasion of privacy’ Yet it is a fact that there are no private thoughts.

Today I closed my eyes and searched my thoughts and repeated,
‘I am not alone in experiencing the effects of this thought about……TV, news, friends, trainers, designer specs, spinning classes, writing….and many more.
For some of them it was reassuring to know that I was not on my own, for others I’d hate to think someone was sharing exactly the same experience…yet I’ve read the Intention Experiment by Lynn Tagget (author also of The Field) and know that thought transcend time and space. That’s why prayer works. So it stands to reason that someone, somewhere, was experiencing the effects of my thoughts.

I spoke to a friend this evening who said ‘I was just thinking about you.’ How many times has that happened to you?

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Lesson 18 – We’re all joined

Posted on January 20, 2012 by predencia

‘I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my seeing’

The idea for today is another step in learning that the thoughts which give rise to what you see are never neutral or unimportant. It also emphasizes the idea that minds are joined.

I spent a few practice sessions looking around my home and saying
‘I am not alone in experiencing the effects of how I see walls, mirrors, laptops, paintings incense sticks etc.

I didn’t experience any real discomfort with these statements maybe because a) I already believe our minds are joined and b) I was home all day writing. I’ve finished the first two chapters of my new novel, so to some extent I was living in a world of my own creation. Pretty much what we do in ‘real life’ I guess.

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Lesson 17 – Nothing is neutral

Posted on January 18, 2012 by predencia

‘I see no neutral things.’

This idea is another step in identifying cause and effect as it really operates in the world. You see no neutral things because you have no neutral thoughts. It is always the thought that comes first, despite the temptation to think it is the other way round. This is not the way the world thinks, but you must learn that it is the way you think. Today’s exercise: anything you look at say

‘I do not see a neutral…..,because my thoughts about…..are not neutral’

I spent the day looking at things that I have taken for granted, not given a second thought to, not realizing how much value judgement I’d imbued everything with. For example, on the drive back on the M42, I recognised that the signs I’d hitherto thought I felt nothing about suddenly had meaning. I realized I made associations with the places to which the signs directed us, the cameras, the warning messages, all had meaning. I begun to wonder if others in their cars saw what I saw, and were they even aware that on some level they were giving meaning to the bare trees they passed, the green grass, each other’s cars, the lorries.

I looked at the walls in my house and saw that they meant more than I had ever appreciated, as did the doors, the windows, the floor. In the world I see around me nothing is neutral, and I have given them whatever meaning they have.

When our belly dance teacher announced tonight that she was ceasing teaching I felt bereft, as though the rug had been pulled out from under me. I looked around and saw that others shared my interpretation of her leaving. I guess those who would not miss her had already voted with their feet and left. Those of us who turned up week after week would now have a hole in our lives that she filled each week on a Wednesday night. I tried to see it as an opportunity to try something or someone new, but my thought were very firmly rooted in my loss. My thoughts are showing me cause to grieve instead of cause to explore. I feel very sad tonight.

Photo: Belly dance class performance
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