‘Salvation is my only function here.’
‘My part is essential to God’s plan for salvation.’
I am essential to the plan of God for the salvation of the world. For He gave me His plan that I might save the world.
On the hour: Salvation is my only function here.
On the half hour: My part is essential to God’s plan for salvation.
This morning I got up and apologised for being so unforgiving last night. ‘I was offered a chance to practice instant forgiveness, and I blew it.’ I said. Why? Because I was in that ‘How dare you?’ place, and I didn’t want to come out until I felt the other person had suffered enough. The thing is, even as I was in that place, and knew I was there something stopped me just saying f*** it, lets get on with life.
I blamed it on the fact that I was really tired, that I would have behaved differently if I wasn’t so fatigued, but the fact is I felt justified in my grievance. I had been wronged and I was going to let him pay. His apology last night, which was pretty quickly on the heel of the misdemeanour was almost useless; I was going to let him see how his careless words had wounded me. I was unbelievably self-righteous.
Why didn’t I pull back when I knew what I was giving out I was giving to myself? Maybe there was a subconscious need to punish myself. I don’t know. Anyway the ego was running rampant last night. It is more under control today as I reminded myself that I cannot be part of God’s plan for salvation and carry grievances.
BIG CELEBRATIONS!! Betrayed went to he publisher today. Massive weight off my shoulders, and I’m off to Ceroc now. YEY!! LIFE IS GOOD!!